what is it exactly...

i have no idea

i have never been here

i can not see things clear

food's lost it's taste

i see chemical spills

everything i do deemed as waste

head is fizzy with swill

i've no patience

no peace

no surrender

no love

no desire

no dreams

no release

from my fears

started crying out of exhaustion

and just couldn't stop

the strangest thing is

if that had happened before

i would have picked myself up

but here i am

still on the floor...

i can't move

i can't breath

i can't live

i won't die

and all i can ask

is why fucking why?